FML Moments!

We had listeners call in and tell us their FML moments. here’s what they said!

If you have any FML moments of your own and want to be featured on the morning show leave a comment on our Facebook page, write us an email listeners@957thebeatfm.com or contact us on our text line (805)739-2805

 

I discovered that my girlfriend has been lying to me about having a long-term illness requiring multiple trips to the doctor’s. She isn’t ill, she was cheating on me with the local general practitioner. I’ve literally driven her to the clinic and then sat in the waiting room while she screwed the doctor. FML

my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I discovered my girlfriend’s secret blog, where all she does is vent about how much she cheats on me and hates me, but will never leave me because she can’t afford to. Her followers love and support these actions. FML

while out with my family, I happened to run into “the one who got away.” She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name. FML

my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend. And the girl in it was not me, but it was my bed. FML

I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

my extremely drunk boyfriend casually mentioned that he wished I had a penis. FML

I used to work in retail and I had an angry customer in the return line while explaining our return policy. She took her items and left the store the next day she came in again and I don’t know if it was my hair different or what but she came up to me and started complaining to me about me from yesterday and I tried to explain to her “yes that was me yesterday telling you about our return policy and she said “it couldn’t be you because you don’t look like a b**** and that girl looked like a b****” FML

This year at our company Christmas party My bosses wife was really buzzed and flirting with me. Next thing I know we’re in her car getting busy and my boss comes to the car and went crazy on me. FML

So I have been working out of veterinary clinic for 16 years so I know a lot of The clients and they know me. One morning I was running late and didn’t put my make up on. While I was there at work she walked in and sat down I asked my coworker if I could go On my 10 minute break to go do my make up. When I came back in I was on the phone and I heard her ask my coworker did she just get here, was she here before? And my coworker told her yes she was here but she just went to go put on make up. The lady who shouldn’t judge because she ate no dime said Oh she looks a lot better with makeup FML

Went to my grandmas house with my wife when we were first dating. Grandma busted out the photo album and of course there was one of me naked after a bath. She proceeds to tell my girl, did his rosebud ever grow? It stuck out like a little light switch. FML

My parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn’t allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML

I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML

I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, “I have to go, there’s a cute guy on this elevator.” Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, “Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her.” FML

my girlfriend’s dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied “no”, but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, “deal.” FML

I was walking home when I thought I saw a man beating up a woman in a phone box, I opened the door and pulled the man of the woman, turns out they where just “getting frisky” FML