Situation 805: “I’m almost ready to leave this marriage, help”

Situation 805 is sponsored by West Coast Tires & Auto Center. Stop by and visit them at 400 N. Broadway in Santa Maria or give them a call (805) 631-5640.

Good morning! A couple of days ago I heard you guys talking about someone who wrote in saying his wife let go of herself or stopped taking care of herself since the pandemic. I have the same issue. I am a 44 year old woman who still puts myself together and takes pride in my appearance. I met my husband in high school. We were sweethearts, got married and had 4 children. We have 2 grand babies now. Well my husband got into a motorcycle accident 7 years ago. He had messed up ankle and naturally took time off to heal. Except it’s been 7 years! He let too much time go by that now he has no motivation to get back into doing things. We used to hike, take rides, go out with other couples, work out together. He was very active. He’s gained a lot of weight, it wasn’t a big deal at 1st but it’s got to where he is becoming more & more dependent on other people. Yeah he is depressed. He knows he should eat better & workout. Change isn’t visible over night, plus he’s not consistent. I want to help him but I can’t do it if he puts in little to zero effort. I miss living life with him, I care about his well-being but I’m to the point where I can no longer keep enabling him if he doesn’t care to help himself, it’s selfish. My kids advice me to keep trying. I’m willing to try anything so I know I did everything to save my marriage but I’m not going to settle living like this either. Help.(email your situation to