Situation 805: “My fiance might have an 8 year old son he never knew about.”

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Good morning guys my situation is a bit sensitive. I just got engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years. We have a lot of the same goals. We both want to travel and live abroad once I finish with my last year at the university. We decided that having children isn’t something we want. It might sound selfish but I think it’s even more selfish bringing kids into this world if you can’t take care of them. Well in those 5 years that we’ve been together we saved up money to travel so we have a nice little pot. We even planned a very small simple wedding to use our money for traveling. Well here is an example of how everything can change in just an instant… A week ago my fiance got a phone call from his aunt and told him some shocking news. He fiance allegedly has a 8 year old son with this girl he messed around with years ago. The girl works with his aunt. He had no idea this kid even existed. It is like a bucket of cold water that was just dumped on us. This kid looks just like him too, so before taking any paternity test we have a strong feeling it is his kid. If it turns out it is his son, he said he’s going to do the right thing and take responsibility for him and he wants to be part of his life. I love my fiance but I cannot see myself with children. I don’t know how to feel about this. I don’t want to get ahead of myself but this might be a deal breaker for me. I have plans to move and travel, that’s what I’ve dreamed of and if he decides to not join me I might have to move on with out him. I love him but I don’t think I can build a life with him. If he is the dad and he wants to help him out I think he should…but I cannot stick around. He says I’m being selfish…am I? (email your situation to: