Open Modal

Situation 805: “My bf says it’s too much effort to look his best, am I not worth it?”

Good morning guys!! Big fan! Here it goes, my boyfriend is in his mid 30’s I am in my mid 20’s. My boyfriend has started to get a lot of grey hair on his beard and his head. I suggested he dye his hair (am I am a hairdresser), as time passes he has stop taking care of his appearance. Because of my profession I think it’s important I take pride in the way I look. You cannot trust a hairdresser/beautician to work on you, if they can’t even work on themselves. Well my boyfriend got offended and said he’s a man and real men don’t dye their hair. It turned into an argument. Here’s the thing, my boyfriend feels that since he already has me, he doesn’t have to keep trying. “It’s too much effort” I try to educate him on skin care (especially since he works outdoors and doesn’t wear sunscreen) once again he says men don’t need any of that. Well in the last year he looks like he has aged a ton! I am going to be honest, my attraction to him is fading. I’ve told him that too. It’s not that I’m vain because we are all supposed to change and with time, but he has given up. We went to a wedding not to long ago and his effort to get dressed up was minimal. He doesn’t care how he looks! He was mad at me for not wanting to post a picture of us that night. I told him I felt embarrassed. I gave him an ultimatum, to either put more effort into his appearance or I am out. Physical appearance isn’t everything but it is important. I would like to hear what the men out there listening, what they think about my situation, are WE not worth the effort? Why can’t we normalize men utilizing skin care, getting manicures, etc. and just taking care of themselves. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves always! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? (email your situation to

Recommended Posts